Stagger
by Fraye
Summary: If you had only one moment to say just one thing to the one you loved as you lay dying, what word could sum up everything you've ever wanted to say and do?  Would you be able to keep truth in your words if you were dying by your own hands?


As I brought my hands together, I couldn't help but let a tear fall from my cheek. The silent prayer was the only thing that kept me stable as I looked forwards to see everything I had loved in life lying there dead. My mother… and my father… and as I looked between their two, perfect, faces- another tear fell to the ground. One after the other I felt the torrent break way. I glanced back and forth between them one more time before I ran away.

_My name is Fox McCloud._

The only up I'd had after that was meeting with Krystal, and the fling with Wolf that came soon after. But once Krystal had found out I wasn't strictly for woman, she'd left me for Panther Caruso. I was left in the dark once again, Wolf forced away because I had closed my heart to much to go forwards.

_As you read this, I hope that you can understand that it's not meant to hurt you._

Candles flicker as I glance around the room. I'm trapped in a church, the one place I'd sworn never to go. Of course I'd come here when times hit low enough. I hadn't expected it to help me so much, but committing to a faith was all I had here. I'd always believed there was someone there, but it was a big step to commit to it and let it be known that I had such beliefs. It was a freeing moment.

_In fact, I hope you can understand and that you'll feel as liberated as I from this experience._

And as gunshot after gunshot rattles, I could only glance around, praying for my life as I took those of others. I had by now realized my sexuality to its fullest extent, and by my side was Wolf. He'd found his way back when I'd learned to open up again, and he was the only other member of Star Fox, as was I a member of Star Wolf. This mutual team set-up had kept us both happy. For now.

_And know that I truly and honestly love you with all of my heart._

But the ear rattling scream of the next victim, a misfire on my part, reached my ears… I felt tears come to my eyes. I saw the quickly fading life of the only father left to me in my hands. Peppy Hare's life was taken by my hands, as I was attempting to protect him and Vivian from bandits. I guess I'm a failure after all. Wolf had helped me cope.

_But as I lay here dying, I have to say that I regret absolutely nothing… these pills are my only friend._

And before then, I'd never truly been open to the idea of sex. But it had become the only thing left in my life. I was too scared to go out, and Wolf was willing to give, and give, and give. I wasn't going to say no either. It felt nice to have something intimate with someone when intimacy was lost everywhere else. The best part was cuddling with him afterwards, with the 'I love you' always closing the night. It was… perfect.

_And even though I never wanted to hurt you in such a way, someone other than me was bound to get hurt at some point._

But when Bill was submitted to a hospital for a heart attack, I couldn't help but be there. He was on the brink of death the entire time, and when he had a second heart attack in the hospital, he passed on. At this point, I didn't have the will to push Wolf away. I cried in his arms all night, and all day. He understood like others hadn't.

_And Wolf, know that everything I've ever told you is the truth, and know that there is no one better for me in the world than you._

I was submitted into a therapy program once they realized how many deaths had been connected to me in the recent years. I was placed onto several anti-depressants and I spent most of my days asleep. Wolf spent more time away, but I always woke up to him cuddling me.

_I don't want to live my life in darkness and dreams, and I can't stand reality anymore either._

I was finally submitted into a hospital when I went into a coma, and although I spent a good deal of a year, 7 months to be exact, in it… Wolf was still there. When I woke up, it was his turn to cry.

_So as I truly and finally overdose on what has tortured me so, I ask one thing… that you don't miss me._

I progressed into a deep state of depression… I couldn't think, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe without the aid of something. I was put onto sleeping medication.

_I can see the end in the horizon Wolf._

I had sex with Wolf for the first time in nearly a year. It was perfect in everyway, but I still cried myself to sleep that night.

_And I'll be waiting._

I took the bottle and dumped every pill in it into my hand, dumping the handful into my mouth as I took a large swallow. The dizzying punch wasn't enough to stop me as I continued this with all 5 bottles of medication I had.

A burst of lightness hit me and I fell, everything starting to fade into murky colors as everything became… muddy.

I laughed a bit, but I only heard a whimpering sound as I felt foam froth from my lips.

As 15 minutes passed, it was almost shocking to hear a scream from the door, everything sounding miles away. I knew it was too late, as I'd already stepped into the light. My body was too heavy to move and my mind was too groggy to comprehend, but I still was able to bend the fingers of my adjacent hands into the shape of a heart.

Then darkness consumed me entirely.


End file.
